Learning from Song of Solomon #2

Girl:

⁵ Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tents of Kedar, like the tent curtains of Solomon.
⁶ Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected.
[Song of Solomon 1:5-6, NIV]

Women are always very conscientious about their looks. Even the girl knows that herself is lovely (in reality she was beautiful enough as the love of King Solomon,) she is more focus about the inadequacy of her skin tone. David A. Hubbard said that, “Her song of self-description points to her modesty at best – ‘who am I to deserve such an attractive and admirable man?’ - and her self-deprecation at worst – ‘I am so unworthy of him that I don’t want you, my Jerusalemite friends, to remind me of it.’” Whatever the case, she concerns about her look.

The reason that she didn’t look good was that she was a working girl (her brothers made her caretaker of the vineyard), and so she have neglected herself. There’s a lesson here to learn. This girl is not just out caring for physical self, but she is willing to submit to her family’s authority. She works hard as well. What a woman.

Application: Strengthen your mate’s beauty. A psychiatrist pastor friend of mine suggested:

First, look at your wife’s beauty. Get her beauty clearly in your mind—let it become the primary visual effect she has on you.

Second, find a way to convince her of her beauty; do this at least a couple of times each day. Sincerity is important (refer to the first bit of advice). It is important that you mean what you say and it is even more important that she be convinced that you mean it. (This morning I mentioned my wife’s ability to select clothes that compliment her beauty as she dressed for work….)

Third, at some point your appreciation of her beauty and her joyful response to your love will allow the reintegration of the rib to its proper place near your heart (Gen. 2:21 and related verses).

I still having problem complimenting my wife on her beauty more. Someone had suggested that I would write to her.

O God, help me to affirm my love one of her beauty more.

Learning from Song of Songs #1

I am starting my meditation on Song of Solomon to ascertain some misperceptions I had on love and relationship. The Song was written like dialogs in a musical, and this is how it started out…

Girl:

2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - For your love is more delightful than wine. 3 Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; Your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you! 4 Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Maidens:

We rejoice and delight in you; We will praise your love more than wine.

Girl:

How right they are to adore you! [Song of Solomon 1:2-4, NIV]

Who would have thought you found reference to French kiss right in the middle of the Bible here. The girl started out with a song of yearning. Her lover wasn’t there; that’s why she referred to "him" at first. But then her mind starts daydream, and the "him" become "you". In her imagination, he was right there with her.

Women have deep longing. They are more emotionally wired; and they are delighted to be love. But love must be concreted. It was a specific action that she long for: affections shown by showering of kisses. The physical aspect of her lover matters too, his smell and his physique. His character is solid and held in high repute ("Your name…"). And she is proud of the fact that he was loved by her girlfriends, the maidens. The end of this opening climatic at the point where the girl daydreams about being whisked away – run and not walk – into his bedroom for passionate love-making.

Sizzle! Wow, this is hot.

Application: Often I think too much and don’t love as much. There are quite a few Puritanical misconceptions that I have about love and relationship. Women have their desires. They may not be anti-sexual like many people made them out to be. It’s also a fallacy to believe that women don’t care about how men look and just focus on their characters. They both matter. It is also a fallacy to believe that women don’t want sex. They do.

Dear God – Perhaps I am sexually repressive. Please help me to correct my wrong perceptions and align my belief toward the reality You have constructed.

PS: One more thing I learn: it is important to make her proud about you when she's in conversations with her friends too.

On Purposed-Driven-Church Methodology and "Repent and Believe"

Recently, there were quite a few things messing with my head and made me rethink a bit about the Seeker-Sensitive Church Movement. So far, I have always been on the look out for waterdown-the-Gospel but I read dilligently about stuff from both the proponent and the opponent sides. Here're some recent dialogs I had... (The first few are some backgrounds, my major thinking is the last item). 1) Peter Bogert linked to an article entitled The Gospel According to Rick Warren on his site. After I read the article, I took it out on Peter:

I am not a Warren's fan, so hear me out on this. The other day when preaching on Samson, I had to change the way I talked about "mixed-marriage". Realizing the significant percentage of seekers in the audience made me explaining to THEM why Christians are so "strict" in that regard. Without them there, I would exhort the same point differently to the church kids. I think Warren's message might be misunderstood because the lack of the surrounding context. Like instructions given to 3-years-old would be different to 17-years-old.

Graciously he replied:

Bumble: Thanks for your comment. The point of quoting the article about Warren was not to bash him, but to point out two very common aspects of evangelicalism's approach to evangelism. The first is that Christ solves your problems and that's why you need Him. Dealing with sinfulness becomes incidental to that larger point. The second is that repeating a prayer nets eternal life.

I then sent him my appology:

You are right. The "sinner prayer" is not very biblical. And you didn't bash Warren in your posr at all. I should have direct my comment to Slice of Laodicea instead. I guess I was chicken to do that and posted my comment here instead...

2) The same day as above, I started looking at the notes Tony Morgan offered at his Strategic Growth workshop for the churches. It feel a bit strange. (I downloaded a copy of the notes for further analysis if I have time later on in life).

3) Then last week Rick linked to an 11-parts short story of "Jesus Outed in Megachurch". After I read through the whole thing, I feel sorry for the PDC people. Implicate that Jesus was gagged and tied-up by PDC today are just plain mean!

4) After that, reading Tony Morgan linked to "Buzzmarketing" and I went off again:

So, do you agree that "Tony markets his church just like we market our products and services"?

How about his statement of "I’m a business speaker, inspiring and teaching. He delivers a sermon, inspring and teaching. Both Tony and I are on a mission to spread the word about spreading the word (in my case Buzzmarketing, in his case religion)"?

I am not saying that marketing is bad, but if the gospel can truly be advanced by just marketing appeal, then where is then the power of the Gospel? How are we really depending on God?

What then can we make of the following words from Paul: "Hasn’t God exposed [the world's wisdom] all as pretentious nonsense? Since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in his wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb—preaching, of all things!—to bring those who trust him into the way of salvation.While Jews clamor for miraculous demonstrations and Greeks go in for philosophical wisdom, we go right on proclaiming Christ, the Crucified. Jews treat this like an anti-miracle—and Greeks pass it off as absurd. But to us who are personally called by God himself—both Jews and Greeks—Christ is God’s ultimate miracle and wisdom all wrapped up in one. Human wisdom is so tinny, so impotent, next to the seeming absurdity of God." (The Message's rough equivalence of 1 Cor.1:18-25)

Please hear me out - I am not one of those who against mega-church. I read your blog daily because there are much to learn from your ministry. I just want to hammer out some of "in the world but not of the world" practicalities here.

And Tony clarified the matter right away...

Bumble, Bumble, Bumble... You don't really think I believe it's all about a slick marketing campaign, do you? Marketing can't transform lives. Only Jesus can transform lives. Where Mark and I are in agreement, though, is that we can help influence the dialogue people are having about our ministry. Remember, 75% of the people who show up for the first time are coming because of the invitation of a friend. We can call that "evangelism." Mark calls it "buzzmarketing." All I'm suggesting is that I learned some principles from Mark's book that might help our ministry remain relevant in today's media intensive culture. And, not to be arrogant, but I think the business world has the chance to learn some best practices from the church. So, I'm glad Mark was willing to point others to WiredChurches.com even though a couple of his facts weren't exactly accurate. For example, I don't do sermons...outside of my blog. :-)

And I acknowledged it immediately.

Phew! Thanks for the clarification...

I must have a case of recursive thinking, I read something from somewhere else, carried it in my head for some times, thene brought it up and argued about it with people who is not even related in the original context.


5) And now, to continue the processing in my head. I am reading N.T. Wright's "The Challenge of Jesus: Rediscovering Who Jesus Was and Is" and D. Martin Lloyd-Jones's "Out of the Depths: Restoring Fellowship With God".

N. T. Wright in his book, The Challenge of Jesus, talks about our understanding of the words "repent and believe", and the first century’s understanding of the words repent and believe. We often understand "repent and believe" as renounce sins and take up religion. But it was not how the words was understood originally. Wright makes this case by talking about the Jewish historian, Josephus. Before Josephus became a historian, he was a military officer. He was sent to Galilee, the same place that Jesus’ questions come from. Josephus is sent to Galilee to quiet down a rebel group that is trying to stir up the populace against Rome. Josephus says to that rebel group, “Repent, and believe in me.” Translated what he is saying is, “Give up your agenda of bringing war against Rome, and follow my directions.” When Jesus says “Repent, and believe in me,” what he is saying to all who will hear him is, “Give up your agenda and accept my agenda, and follow me.”

And the topic of "repent and believe" was the topic of discussion in my last three Sunday Schools as well as the last few weekly Believers' lunch I had at work. In all of these discussions, we discussed "repent and believe" as how 21st century people understand it, and not as what N.T. Wright wrote about.

So this threw me in for a loop: "Did I misunderstood 'repent and believe' all along? Is dealing with sins a more recent theological construct?" Only a few days before, I was being critical of the the modern tendency for an "easy-believism" (believe without repentance). But now, I am not even sure about what does it mean by "repent and believe" any more.

Reading the second book from D. Martin Lloyd-Jones worked my brain the other way. The book was actuall four expository sermons on Psalm 51. It is about sin. It is about repentance from sin.

Then I came to the realization that both of them were talking about the same thing. Repentance of sin is a subset of the bigger "Give up your agenda" concept. Wright is not contradicting the historical theological interpretation of "Repent and Believe", he was just showing us a larger picture (for most of us, we will repent our wrong doings and keep on living according to our own agenda).

And if so, what if the PDC methodology was just reversing the process of "repent and then believe" to "believe and then repent"? If the ultimate goal was life change in Jesus, then does it matter if we get people to believe in Jesus first and then start renouncing their sinful lifestyle eventually? Wright made a startling remark that the church had never been this relevant to daily life as it is right now. Quite a different view on the good-ol-day isn't it?

To cap it off, since Jesus didn't say "repent then believe" and just mention the two components side by side, the PDC methodology may has some freedom in rearranging the order of the process. Even Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones wrote in the book, "We must be very careful that we do not insist upon various steps and stages [...] happening in a particular chronological order. There are some people who are always anxious to standardize everything and I am not here to contend for that. What I am saying is that in every case of conversion, in every case of repentance, there are certain common elements. There is a common pattern, but in some cases one thing comes first and the other follows, in other cases the second thing comes first and the first follows. I do not say it must happen in a standard manner, but I do say that in the absence of a certain things we have never repented, and without repentance we are not Christian." (p.45) So as long as a PDChurch didn't neglect the aspect of repentance, rearraging the order of the process perhaps plausible.

What do you think?

Blog Publishing problems fixed...

Since the start of July, somehow I could not publish my blog from Blogger at all. All I got is a "550 Permission Denied" error. But I was too busy to look at the problem until today. As the result, there are plenty of posts are being surfaced up as the system catching up...

God could Grant Perceptions

"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" And they said, "Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter answered, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God." And Jesus answered him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven." Matthew 16:13-20

The question Jesus asked is about perception. What are the perceptions of people about Him, and what is the perception of the disciple about Him. Reality is who Jesus is. Perception is who we think He is. Perception is the avenues which could lead to knowledge of reality. Jesus understood that human limitation and He probed their perceptions of Him for our benefits.

There are a few more things I learned about perceptions. First is that the God’s role in revealing reality to us. There are things that flesh and blood can perceive, and there are things that they can’t. So God has a definite role to play in the opening of the minds. Recently I learned about God’s role in molding our will: human could initiate willfulness, but only God could initiate willingness. (And so we pray God to help us wanting to do the right thing). In the same manner, we should pray that God will lead us to have an accurate perception of reality. (This is one of the recurring fights I had all the time with people: what version of reality is there, how do I know for real, how do you know for real...)

The second thing I learned is that the most important reality is the reality about Jesus. He didn’t ask about their perceptions about who they are, where they come from, and where they are going. The only reality that matters eternally is our perception of the reality of Jesus. Was Jesus real? Is He really present today? Does He really listen to my prayer or is it just my psychobabble? Does He really care about what’s going on today, in my world? If these beliefs are real enough, then it will start affecting my behaviors and my world. True belief will be married to consistent and persistent actions.

The third thing I learned about perception is that even if we thought that we get an accurate perception, there’s still no guarantee that we got the true reality. Peter got an affirmation from Jesus. He even got promoted into “the Rock”. But the following passage revealed that Peter immediately got the wrong idea about who Jesus really is when He started predicting His death.

So, the point to all this was that reality is something we often got it wrong all the time (if we follow the throngs of people around), that God can and will lead us into the knowledge of reality of Christ, and even then there are still much growing that need to be done. Understand this perhaps will humble us more, as this poem I just got yesterday:

>Subject: Shocked in Heaven
>Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:01:42 +0800
>
> I was shocked, confused, bewildered
> as I entered Heaven's door,
> Not by the beauty of it all,
> by the lights or its decor.
> But it was the folks in Heaven
> who made me sputter and gasp--
> the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
> the alcoholics, the trash.
>
> There stood the kid from seventh grade
> who swiped my lunch money twice.
> Next to him was my old neighbor
> who never said anything nice.
>
> Herb, who I always thought
> was rotting away in hell,
> was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
> looking incredibly well.
>
> I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
> I would love to hear Your take.
> How'd all these sinners get up here?
> God must've made a mistake.
>
> And why's everyone so quiet,
> so somber? Give me a clue."
> "Hush, child," said He. "They're all in shock.
> No one thought they'd see you." 

O God, I don’t really know anything! Please help align my perception toward your ultimate reality.

Foreknowledge of Rejection

I ask, then, has God rejected his people? By no means! I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, a member of the tribe of Benjamin. God has not rejected his people whom he foreknew. Do you not know what the scripture says of Elijah, how he pleads with God against Israel? for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Just as you were once disobedient to God but have now received mercy because of their disobedience, so they have now been disobedient in order that, by the mercy shown to you, they too may now receive mercy. For God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all.

[Romans 11:1-2a, 29-32]

"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable" even though the Israelites in Paul's time were rejecting Jesus. They were called to obedience so that God's glory might be revealed; but they rejected their calling. However, God's calling on them were irrevocable, and He accomplished His purpose even through their disobedience. And amazingly, God has not rejected them. The mystery is that He foreknew this in advance, that the text even implicate Him for "imprisoning all in disobedience so that He may be merciful to all." If so, then God had already foreknew not just the disobedience, but the response to His mercy from the people in advance! That response to mercy would be the determining factor of who is "His people".

Like all, I am also imprisoned in disobedience. But also to all, God shows His mercy to people including me. Am I His people? Am I the one God didn't reject? It's all boiled down in my rejection to His mercy.

Lord God, thank you for Your mercy shown to me; even in today, the day of my disobedience. I will receive your mercy. I will walk in accordance to your calling and gifts. Make me your people and fulfill Your purpose through my obedience.

Prerequisite for GIGO

Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, "Listen and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles." Then the disciples approached and said to him, "Do you know that the Pharisees took offense when they heard what you said?" He answered, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit." But Peter said to him, "Explain this parable to us." Then he said, "Are you also still without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile." [Mat.15:10-20]

Religious people are very much into behavioral-control and sin-management. Some how, we believe the GIGO rule: Garbage-In=Garbage-Out. It is true to a certain extent: without the bad inputs, the bad outputs certainly will be lowered. If you hang out with friends who curse all the time, chances are you would be more likely to curse.

But it is more than that. When Jesus said, "it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles" ; it is not really about offensive words. It is about actions from the heart: "what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander."

What Jesus is saying is that our internal engine is already geared to produce bad outputs. Even if you can guard the bad inputs from enter into the heart. Even if you can cut down the amount of bad outputs. The engine had already been malfunctioned, and therefore GIGO principle would not help redeeming the heart much.

Most of the time we try so hard to prevent GIGO (Garbage In Garbage Out), but that would be useless if the heart was not changed first. Without the changing of the heart, all the religiousity would not lead anywhere at all. We will remain like the Pharisee who Jesus condemned: "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit."

The plant might be there, it might look just like the other plant which the Father planted. The actions of a religious person could be as righteous as a heart-changed person. But at the end they will be uprooted. The problem is that the distinguishness will only happened "at the end", for the mean time God "let them be". So how would I know that I myself is not a blind person, that I don't have an ungenerated heart, that I won't lead others down the pit? Wouldn't it be too late to find out "at the end"?

In the previous parable 2 chapters prior to this one about "The Weeds and The Wheats" [Mat.13:24-30] The owner of the field commanded his servants to "let them be" until the last day. It is because in God's economy, no one are slotted prematurely. Weeds can turn to wheats. And so, even if I might not have any confident that I am not blind like the Pharisee, I could count on the grace of God, even now, to change my heart toward Him, rather than confidently judging myself based on GIGO principle.

Change my heart O God, make it ever true...

Handouts from Jim Burns on "Keeping Your Ministry and Marriage Healthy"

[Note: things in square brackets are my comments, not in the handouts ] Page 1: Your Marriage and Ministry

1. Your greatest ministry is your marriage
2. Over-commitment and fatigue; the number one problem in youth ministry marriage [Jim has the practice of having your wife approve his schedule; Dave Liverpool has another couple over see their schedule].
3. Spouse involvement? [in the ministry with you, not in ministry, in another ministry]
4. Communication [this is why date night is important]
5. Sex!
6. Finances, ministry and marriage
7. Growing spiritually in your marriage
8. What about children?

Page 2: 10 Traits for a Healthy Ministry family

1. The Power of Being There: Your children regard your very presence as a sign of caring and connectedness
2. Express Affirmation, Warmth and Encouragement: Parents who practice AWE-based parenting, as opposed to shame-based parenting, will create a home where children and spouses feel more secure.
3. Build Healthy Morals and Values: The decision kids make today will often affect them for the rest of their lives.
4. Discipline with Consistency: Clearly expressed expectations and consistent follow-through produce responsible kids.
5. Ruthlessly Eliminate Stress: The unbalanced life will not be kind to the areas we neglect.
6. Communication is the Key: Posititive communication is the language of love for our children
7. Play is Necessary for a Close-Knit Family: There is nothing like play to bring about family togetherness and communication.
8. Love Your Spouse: A loving marriage brings hope and security to the children.
9. The Best Things in Life are not Things: Healthy stewardship and sound financial decisions produce positive family priorities.
10. Energize Your Family's Spiritual Growth: Your greatest calling in life is to leave a spiritual legacy for your children.

Page 3: Communication Questions and Issues [probably a list use to make sure you cover everything in communication with your spouse]

A. Issues

• Goals... Thoughts... Worries... Hopes... Dreams
• Our Relationship
• The Ministry
• Spiritual
• Sex
• Family:
• -- Children
• -- In-laws
• -- Other
• Financial
• Education
• Physical
• Spouse's Needs
• Fears
• Other Issues

B. Complete These Sentences

• Sometimes I becomed blocked in our relationship when...
• Sometimes I feel angry when...
• Sometimes when I am happy, I ...
• One of the things I wish you knew more about me is...
• If I could be sure no one would laugh at me...
• Ever since I was a child...

Page 4: His Needs / her Needs [Probably going down this list and mark "his" or "her"]

• Sexual Fulfillment
• Recreational Companionship
• An Attractive Spouse
• Domestic Support
• Admiration
• Affection
• Conversation
• Honesty and Openness
• Financial Support
• Family Commitment

Page 5:

The Five Languages of Love:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

1. What are your two primary languages of love? ______________ and ____________
2. What are your spouse's two primary languages of love? ____________ and __________

Making Love Last Forever

Be sure you are making more "deposits" into the well-being of your spouse/children than "withdrawals". (A "deposit" is anything positive and security-producing that gives your spouse/children energy. A "withdrawal" is anything sad or negative that drains energy from your spouse/children.

1. What are ways you can make more deposits in your spouse's/children's account?
2. What deposits do you wish you could receive from your spouse/children?
3. Identify ways you are making withdrwals from your spouse/children account.

Page 6: Jim & Cathy Weekly Meeting [sample list of stuff they discuss about]

• Devotional time for the week
• Greatest joy of the week
• Greatest struggles
• An affirmation
• A wish or hope
• Physical goals
• Prayer
• Book of the month

[Beside this, remember this from Urbana 90's seminar on Ministry and Marriage: "Ministry is God's call for a certain time, marriage is God's call for the whole life time."]

Taking Heat

He knelt with his back straight up, refused to bow. His mother, brothers and sisters all bowed in rhythm with the chanting and the drumming. The smell of incense filled the air. And the coffin containing his dad was lowering down onto the ditch. Many of his relatives were looking in disgust and disbelief. “Do con bat hieu!” You could hear them mumble about what a dishonorable son he was. I still remember that vivid scene from A. Nhieu’s dad funeral. As the only believer in a devout Buddhist family, A. Nhieu took a lot of heat for not bowing to worship his ancestor, in this case his own dad at the funeral. And it was not an easy decision to come to. “No, this is not worship; this is just paying respect to your own dad!” His family was trying to persuade him before the ceremony. You can hear that even from a few well-meaning Christians today. But A. Nhieu stood by his conviction. You see, in the Vietnamese language, ancestor worship was called “Tho lay ong ba”. “Tho” meant worship, “lay” meant bow down. To bow to the ground was to worship. And A. Nhieu had the gut to practice what the Bible teaches, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey men rather than God?” [Acts.4:19] And it wasn’t easy to follow through afterward either. A. Nhieu became a black sheep in the family after that. His mom and his family resented his decision so much that the wound is still there today. Any opportunity they had, A. Nhieu and Becky would spent time with his family. But it still hurts a lot. That was eight years ago. Sometimes I wonder if A. Nhieu would look back on that incident and regret, “Why would I do that for? What good had come out from it?” Last week one of our guys talked to me. He said that his non believing parents had arranged for him to go to Vietnam to marry his long distant cousin, so that she could come over here to the US on a fiancé visa. The marriage will exist only on paper and after a few years they would file a divorce so that each could go on with their lives. Wanting to honor his father and mother, our friend went a long with the plan. So the arrangement were made, the news were announced, and plane tickets might have been already been bought. Until a few weeks recently when he realized that his desire to honor his parents will dishonor God. They were in a home group, and the men there recounted to him the decision that A. Nhieu made at the funeral. That challenges him a great deal. So he told me that he had made the decision to call everything off at the last minute. That he would take on the heat to do the right thing and obeying God rather than men. That he would risk alienating his own parents to the gospel so that he won’t misrepresent what the gospel is all about. But most important of all, he told me that he needs prayer support from us. Please pray for Huy.

Not Everything I Speak should be Heard

Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually. Remember the wonderful works he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered, O offspring of his servant Abraham, children of Jacob, his chosen ones. When he summoned famine against the land, and broke every staff of bread, he had sent a man ahead of them, Joseph, who was sold as a slave. His feet were hurt with fetters, his neck was put in a collar of iron; until what he had said came to pass, the word of the LORD kept testing him. The king sent and released him; the ruler of the peoples set him free. He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his possessions, to instruct his officials at his pleasure, and to teach his elders wisdom. [Psalm 105:4-6,16-22]

The Psalm about was a song retelling the story of Joseph, a Dream Maker and a Dream Keeper I was studied not so long ago.

While some people read Genesis 37 and see Joseph's bragging about his dreams as a carnal action, the author of this Psalm said that Joseph faced difficulties "until what he had said came to pass, the word of the LORD kept testing him..." [v.19] So according to the poet, 1) What Joseph proclaimed was the word of the Lord. He was indeed a prophet, albeit an immature one - but at 17 years old, he was just acting his age. 2) It's not the Lord who kept testing him, but "the word of the Lord" kept testing him.

The implication of the above two things were this: The modern spokemen for God sometimes might have spoken immaturely also. I know I did that many times. The word is indeed from the Lord, but it might be for me, and not for others. And the word might be delivered for me so that I will be tested myself.

It's easy to always think that because you are the messenger, your message was for others. But it's important to remember that the Word often have to come to me first, before it goes through me to others.

And why do we need to focus on ourselves first? I had breakfast with a mentor yesterday and he told about the words overheard from some leaders recently. Just as John Ortberg said in his sermon a few weeks ago, "it’s just in casual, unguarded moments that when you speak, the state of your soul will be revealed." And so the leaders leaked out their toxin unintentionally to the people around them. Being a leader will just put you in higher-traffic areas of life, and if the Word won't refine yourself first, then you will leak more toxin eventually.

May God help me to be faithful in learning your Word, for myself, and to refine myself.