Am I just a rationalized rich man?

"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man's table; even the dogs would come and lick his sores. The poor man died and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side. He called out, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in agony in these flames.' But Abraham said, 'Child, remember that during your lifetime you received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in agony. Besides all this, between you and us a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who might want to pass from here to you cannot do so, and no one can cross from there to us.' He said, 'Then, father, I beg you to send him to my father's house -- for I have five brothers--that he may warn them, so that they will not also come into this place of torment.' Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets; they should listen to them.' He said, 'No, father Abraham; but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'" from the parable of Jesus in Luke 16:19-31

Someone had said, "It's not the thing I don't understand about Scripture that bother me; but it's the thing that I do understand!" When I re-read the text with a focus on social justice, the bothersome question is "How and to what extent?" I identified myself with the rich man. Even though I consider myself a faithful follower of Christ; our family tithed beyond what was asked of us to finance for various ministries, we spent all our times outside of work to serve the people of God in the church, we committed to a simplistic life (my boy is not even have Xbox, or PS2 yet, but borrowing someone else obsolete Sega Dreamcast to play), etc. Yet, I am still a rich man with double managerial incomes, a house and two cars. Compare to the third world country I came from, we are beyond rich! Compare to our average congregation, we are rich! My wife could afford the latest brand name fashion (even though she often got them on sales at outlet mall), so in a way we were "dressed in purple and fine linen". I myself loved good food, I watched "Iron Chef" every time I got a chance, and I feel no regret dining in Beverly Hills on vacation and paying for $35 per plate, so in a way I was "feasting sumptuously". One can justify my life style by exegete the word "every day" at the end of verse 19. But if one willing to compare my daily "standard" with those "standards" in the third world countries, then in deed, I am living large "every day", even in my modest days. Some would point to the fact that Lazarus was placed at the rich man's gate as an indicator that contrasts between the rich and poor here happened at the local context. Of course, if we compare ourselves to Haiti and Bangladesh then we all the rich men. But may be we are called to confront the situation at our own gates first as a start. I found comfort in the fact that the Gospel didn't condemn the rich man to hell just because he was rich, or admit Lazarus to heaven just because he was poor. May be the text was not about social justice as "the rich will be punished, and the poor will be rewarded eternally" at all. But it more like social justice in the local context, make sure you respond to whatever opportunities God placed around you. But was that it? I still see myself as the rich man. He knew Lazarus by name, he even allowed the poor beggar to hang out at the gate, he probably gave the poor guy a few coins here and there on a good day. But Scripture seemed to condemn the rich man with the description of Lazarus "longed to satisfy his hunger with what fell from the rich man's table." So, when the parishioner who live in the mobile home slump long to have a big house like mine, would I be condemned too? What do I and the rich man were supposed to do? Selling off my house and move into the mobile home slump? Embrace the ascetic life and deprive myself of any good thing in life like the monks would? No! Notice that the message the rich man wanted to send back was not that of, "live a pious life", nor "sell all your possessions now!" The message was "warn them", (Gk. diamarturomai = thoroughly/dia + testify/martureo). He wanted Lazarus to testify what he had been through, that there is an after life, that there is heaven and hell, that there is punishments and rewards. Abraham generalized the message a bit more and said that the Law and the Prophets was enough for living people to listen to already. It is interesting that Jesus referred to the same term Law and Prophet only a few verses earlier in v. 16, and confirmed its eternal validity in v. 17. Jesus also pointed to the Good News of the Kingdom in v.16b which caused a stampede for people to rush in the Kingdom since then. After all, He was the guy who comes back from the dead to carry the message of the tormented rich man (grin, not literally of course). Seeing the parable in this light, I am no longer identified myself as the rich man, or fear condemnation because of I am rich (compare to my other brothers and sisters). If I have the farsightedness to prepare to the next age, if I walked my life accordingly to the Law of God, if I heed the warning of the Prophets, if I repented according to the Resurrected One, I should have nothing to fear. In the mean time, I understood that my blessing (even though coming from God), could cause social barriers to many of my less unfortunate brothers, and that's why we didn't drive a Mercedes nor spending money on unnecessities. I also understood that we would be ridiculed by my less unfortunate brothers too, for sending my kid to private school, and buying top-of-the-line products if they worth the money I invest in. (Especially if I keep my charity giving records private as Jesus commanded me). I realized that my disclosure above would not be an accurate measurement of who I am since you don't know who I am personally in my context. But I am open to your judgment of my thinking on this text. After all, in the next few verses, Jesus said to his disciples about not causing anyone to stumble, and that "if another disciple sins, you must rebuke the offender" (Luke 17:3). What do you think? Am I rationalizing my way to have my cake and eat it too? To what extend are we supposed to identify ourselves with the poor?

How could servants in ministry got corrupted?

"I have decided what to do so that, when I am dismissed as manager, people may welcome me into their homes..." - The Unjust Steward of Luke 16

Last night my wife and I talked again, after a long board meeting. Eventually the subject turned to our weariness of the corruption from God's servant in regard to church's politics. She raised the question of, "How could people who know God so well, how could they play politics?" My answer at the moment was, "Perhaps because we started concern about the future of the church more than we concern about Christ." Then this morning, as I read the lectionary text (one of the hardest parables of Jesus), I start seeing some interesting implications:

Then Jesus said to the disciples, "There was a rich man who had a manager, and charges were brought to him that this man was squandering his property. So he summoned him and said to him, 'What is this that I hear about you? Give me an accounting of your management, because you cannot be my manager any longer.' Then the manager said to himself, 'What will I do, now that my master is taking the position away from me? I am not strong enough to dig, and I am ashamed to beg. I have decided what to do so that, when I am dismissed as manager, people may welcome me into their homes.' So, summoning his master's debtors one by one, he asked the first, 'How much do you owe my master?' He answered, 'A hundred jugs of olive oil.' He said to him, 'Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it fifty.' Then he asked another, 'And how much do you owe?' He replied, 'A hundred containers of wheat.' He said to him, 'Take your bill and make it eighty.' And his master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the children of this age are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light. And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of dishonest wealth so that when it is gone, they may welcome you into the eternal homes. - (Luke 16:1-9)

And this is my paraphrase...

I, pastor, was accused by God for not managing His ministry properly (squandering His property = use and abuse it by my own will as it belongs to me). And He demanded a full accounting of my management practice. Worse, He was mentioning that He would no longer employ me as a pastor. That would be a big problem for my pastoral career. I am not strong enough to dig, and I am ashamed to beg. It's hard to find another line of work, which would require expertise in Greek, Hebrew, Exegesis, Hermeneutics, etc. With my rhetoric skills, may be I could be a salesperson, but my conscience would hold me back from a successful sales career, I am sure... So, I started worrying. About my family finance, about my kids, about my future. And somehow in that worrying, I forgot the option of throwing myself down at the Master's feet and beg for mercy. May be my long time position of a respectable pastor prevented me from consider such a thing. So, I decided to use whatever time I have left to take care of myself. I need to network more with the parishioners if I want to save my career. As I spent more time with the parishioners (the powerful ones first to be sure), I get to know them more: "So, what were your issues and struggles?" "I am struggled with the sins of ______ and ______". They answered. "Well, don't let it bother you too much; it's not that bad. You see, according to _____, the real issue is _____." And I started to rationalized and helped them feel better, and that of course, made me feel better too. In the final analysis, if I got many parishioners to like me, if I got many to appreciate my helps to them, then I will have a better chance of continue to be their pastors. And at the end, I've succeed in keeping my pastoral job. I pitied many of my friends who called themselves "children of light". They have no skills whatsoever to function tactfully in a congregation. They have no idea what to do to soften a hellfire and brimstone passage in order to survive in a parish. They forgot that you need to survive first, in order to fight another day. Just the other day I received a commendation from God Himself. He liked my pastoral work, the fact that I care and lift up these people. I guess someone will need to lift the burden of sins and guilt for them. And if I can make them feel better about the struggles they have, that's good. God likes that too (at least from His commendation). There's only one thing I am not quite sure about His commendation. God said that my friends will "welcome me into the eternal homes". I thought God Himself would do the welcoming. And I thought there was supposed to be one eternal home for all of us, not "homes".

What's up with that? But well, I need to run to a marital counseling appointment for these guys down the street...

We all could end up like that the servant in the parable, without even knowing it...

The never ending forward/backward movement of ministry

"This fellow welcome sinners and eats with them." - Luke 15:2b Last night, my wife asked me, "Have you ever feel like you want to quit". "All the time", I said. We were just coming back from a college/career Labor Day retreat. I didn't do much (after getting a good speaker for them), my wife was doing the cooking for 70 people over the 3 nights/8 meals period. In one of the small group activities, they were personalized a modern coat-of-arm, and taped them on the wall. One of the question on the coat-of-arm was "Name two people you admire." And the next morning I found myself wondering the hallway, trying to count how many of them mentioned my name. Just one, while the High School youth group leader got several. "That's pride!" the quiet voice spoke in my heart. "The spirit of a servant is that of humility. A good servant should be invisible and never seek attention to themselves." Besides, as I moved further into a higher level abstraction of the work in discerning and visioning, and with the commitment to cultivate my family and my 5 years-old son, I will not be able to maintain a high level of interfacing with the people as I did before. "When you feel like people don't like you, should you continue to minister to them?" My wife asked. I told her about my wandering in the hall way looking for my name, and feeling sad because I don't see my name much. I told her about the conviction of pride from God. I think she knew the answer to her own question all along. She was just want to vent her anxiety. "Do you think our group will get anywhere?" "Not really", I answered. "The group won't get anywhere, but the individuals will." What happens here is the nature of ministry. If the Christians were growing and matured, getting themselves to a point of serving and caring for others, making biblical decisions for their lives, etc. Then by definition of Christian maturity, they were supposed to attract many more messed-up and broken people into the body, and the cycle will start all over again. So if we serve to build a church to reach the ideal image of the church, sooner or later we will be frustrated. "Spiritual Pornography" - that was the term one of my mentors used to describe the temptation for ministers to lust after an ideal, non-existence, and impossible church. Back to the lectionary text for this week. The danger is settle for what we have and not what we lost. One of the maxim I learned from strategetic is that we should be concerned about what we have, and not what we don't have. Keith Drury wrote:

A returning hunter focuses on what he got, not what he missed. A good duck hunter might miss dozens of ducks and still bag "the limit." Any duck hunter who keeps whining about those he missed won't last long in this sport. Face it, with just one shotgun, and hundreds of ducks flying away, you are bound to miss plenty. Leaders don't focus on the "missed ducks" either. No leader gets all the ducks. Perhaps you don't have enough resources. Or, the flock is elusive, flying too fast, your aim is lousy or your gun is dirty. Or some other reason. Leaders don't let their mind dwell long on the ducks they've missed. Neither do golfers, or quarterbacks, or ministers. Do you ever come home from church and join your spouse in the depressing game of tallying who was missing that morning? If so, you are focusing on "missed ducks." Ever get all bent out of shape when one woman calls to ask the time of the meeting you've announced ten times already? If so, you're worrying about "missed ducks." Or, do you use up valuable energy brooding about those who didn't pledge to the capital campaign, didn't vote for your call as pastor, didn't sign up for the small groups, or refused to respond to today's altar call? If so, your focus is on the wrong collection of ducks. Leaders focus on the ducks they get, not those they miss. Jesus was such a leader. He missed prize specimens like the rich young ruler. He missed most of the people in his home town where they dismissed Him as too ordinary. Even after three years together He wasn't able to make a true convert out of Judas. In fact Jesus once watched more than 5,000 missed ducks fly away in a single day. But he didn't focus on them. Rather he kept His eyes on those he did have. He seemed to consider missed ducks an "overhead cost" of leadership.

I have been fixing my mind on the guidance above for a long time. But now, perhaps with the text this week, I could have another anchor to make a creative tension between the two polars in order to think through these kind of issues. Here we read:

Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, "This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them." So he told them this parable: "Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance. "Or what woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." (Luke 15:1-10)

It is easier to focus on what we have left, the 99 sheep or the 9 coins. The effort required to search for lost one is much more strenuous. What I need to do is to keep balance on this two anchors: focus on what we have, but also searching for what we have lost. How? I think the key is to see the connection between the two polars: we need to focus on what we have, in order to search for what we have lost. The mission is to reach the lost, but in order to do so we must have matured disciples on hand so that we can minister to them effectively. We need to focus on having the capability to nurture, to celebrate when the lost returned. How are we doing at assimilating the lost into our existing community? How many people in the group could welcome sinners and eat with them, while NOT conforming/becoming like sinners? (Right now, the attitude of the group is polarized on two spectrums. On the one hand, some feel like, "we welcoming sinners and eat with them, because we are just like them". On the other hand, some feel like, "we are no longer like them, so it's hard to welcome sinners and eat with them." Both extremes are wrong. The key of connection between these extremes and balance this creative tensions can be found in one word: Grace. Once we fully grasp the grace of God in our lives, we will be compelled to move forward and not behave like the world, but we will also be filled with compassion to move backward and reach the lost world too. Let's see how we could applying this in the time to come...

The Cyclical Pattern of Faith intersecting Culture

(or - Why now do I blog?)

"...they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world..." - Jesus (Jn.17:14b-15a)

For the last few thousands of years we have been trying to figure out the relationship between faith and culture. If there are two basic wet and dry positions, they would be 1) our culture blended well with our faith, or 2) our faith is separated from our culture. And if I have to pick between the wet and the dry, I would pick the dry position.

Fortunately, life is not just wet and dry. In the classic book "Christ and Culture", Richard Niebuhr stated the five basic positions: "Christ AGAINST Culture", "Christ OF Culture", "Christ ABOVE Culture", "Christ and Culture in PARADOX", and "Christ the TRANSFORMER of Culture". (Go here for an abbreviate overview of each position). The first two positions were the two basic wet and dry ends of the spectrum. The last three were variations of the mix.

And so, faith and culture is not just wet and dry. Jesus started the confusion two thousands years ago when He desired for his followers to "not be out of the world" but "not to be of the world" either (Jn.17). The question is "How?" How that relationship between faith and culture would look like? If you haven't read the link about on the overview of Niebuhr's book, now is the perfect time to hit it before we move on...

Leonard Sweet in "Soul Tsunami" had this excellent illustration about the relationship between faith and culture as a boat and water. The boat should "not be out of water, and not be 'of' (immersed-in) water" either. Is the boat wet or dry? Hhhm.. (Now you see why I started out with wet and dry positions and not black and white ).

And as the two dimensional water surface intersects the three dimensional boat, there will be misrepresentation and misunderstanding; culture won't really "get" the faith; readers will mistaken the persona for the person; miscommunication was a built-in cost of communication. After all, aren't we the humankind always the expert in miscommunication? Even after thousands of years we still haven't grasped the communication from God, even as it was directly delivered to our world - in a Person! And since there exists that mixture of intersection between faith and culture, between a persona and the person, which is unavoidable in communication; I am willing to risk mis-communicate in order to communicate through this blogging medium.

But there are more. Back to the question of, "How the relationship between faith and culture would look like?" Niebuhr's book presented five options; all five could be supported by Scripture, and all five could be appropriate. How could this be? Phillip Yancey wrote, "I remember that Niebuhr's book left me feeling enlightened, but as confused as ever. All the approaches seemed to have something to contribute, and in fact, I could point to biblical examples of each one..."

Aaahh, welcome to the age of pomo, where people could hold seemingly contradictory views in contiguous space of their minds.

The problem is that we often have a "static" view of a position, rather than seeing everything as a "dynamic" view of the overall positional pattern. I am speaking non-sense here, so let me explain.

If you ask, "Are we called to be out of the world or in the world?" The answer will be "Both; it's all depends." It's all depends on where you are in the pattern, and then you take up the appropriate position. It's similar to beginner's volleyball: if you are in the back row, you dig; front row, you hit; and center, you set.

The idea came to me while I was in a Bible Study on an obscure text of Genesis 45-47 on Joseph preparing his family to migrate to Egypt. {Thanks, Yen - for your exceptionally keen observation.} At the time, Pharaoh offered generously, "I will give you the best of the land, here load your household on these cars, never mind about your stuffs, because I will give you the best here..." In contrast, Joseph carefully coached his brothers, "I will settle you in Goshen, bring everything, including your herds. When Pharaoh asks, tell him your occupation as shepherd, it's detestable to them and you can settle there at Goshen."

Joseph was a successful bi-cultured man, why would he want his family to be secluded from the Egyptian culture? Wouldn't he want them to also be successful too?

What happened here is the illustration for Joseph's grasp of faith and culture. He understood that the ultimate end is not about current culture, but about the fulfillment of faith in the Promised Land. While his steadfast faith remained vibrant as he was assimilating the Egyptian culture, climbing the Egyptian hierarchy, enjoying Egyptian food, marrying Egyptian wife and producing kids. He knew that his brothers would not last a chance in that culture. So he sheltered them up in a paralleling culture, build them strong, so that one day the Jewish culture would emerge, would struggle, and would overcome culture to receive the Promise Land.

We see God did the same thing to Moses, get them out of his people into the dessert for forty years, then sent him back in among his own people again. We see similar pattern in Jesus' ministry. He took the disciples out of the world to be with him, build them strong in Him, then sent them back in the world to make disciples and repeat the cycle. I see the similar pattern today in new believers too. Often they are cut-off from their old secular friends and influences so that they can solidify their faith, then as they are matured, they will attempt to re-enter the culture to live out their faith.

The frequent problems with this cyclical pattern is in its shape and its size. We often don't like changes and therefore we resist both the movements of God: 1) to call us out of the world as well as 2) to send us back into the world. The cycle could not complete here if we don't move. Just look around and see how many people would be willing to step out of their comfort zone today? The second problem is that some of us take way too long to complete the cycle, so by the time we re-enter the world, we no longer have any connection left to the culture. The cycle could not complete here either if the curvature of the cycle get too big. Just ask the "seasoned Christians" around and see how many friends they have left outside of church?

However, these problems are artificial problems created by our lack of responsiveness to God. Let's take the size problem for example, the cycle of faith intersect culture wasn't designed to take a long time to complete. In fact, it was designed as a series of small spirals. At least once a week, we were called out from the world into the faith community, where we are strengthen and built-up, so that we can re-engage the world again every Monday, living out the faith in the culture. Even every day, the spiritual discipline of "Quiet Time" is designed for us to be away from other distraction, to receive the nourishing strength from God so that we can re-engage the world for the rest of our day.

In Niebuhrian terms, I woke up with the "Christ against Culture", I rushed on the freeway for work and yielded for a passing car with the "Christ paradox Culture", I managed my staff with the "Christ above Culture" and I seeked business opportunities with the "Christ transform Culture" through out my day. Finally, I ended my workday hanging out in my small group with the "Christ of Culture". Does it make any sense to you at all?

With this circular pattern thinking, I decided to enroll my son into a private Christian elementary school (since I could, and therefore I should), with a clear view of the day he would have to be "salt and light" in some public high school. I told you, my thinking is so warped; now it's affecting my children!

Yes, this theory is so warped. No wonder my mentor disagreed with it. Perhaps I am brewing some interesting heresy here. What do you think?

I12know - What?

Have you ever been to a place, which give you a foretaste of heaven? And once you have been there, what would you take back?

The closest place to heaven for me personally was Urbana Mission Conference 1990. I was surrounded by 20,000 other die hard Christians for a week. Everyone was on fire for God. Everyone was having the same heart and same mind, willing to live and die for Jesus. And the thrill of worship God with thousands of other brothers and sisters could truly give you a foretaste of heaven. In the midst of all that glorious experience, I encountered this treasure for the first time as a quote from Paul.

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead..."

I was so captured by the passion, by the pursuit, by the single-mindedness to "know Christ". And I take that verse back with me after the conference. It had become my life verse since then!

I12know!

The verb “to know” here is not just mere intellectual knowledge, but a deeper knowledge by personal experience. If you walked into my church and asked for me, people could say “Yeah, I know him” and introduce you to me. But if you asked my wife something about me, and she said, “I know him!” It meant something else entirely different. It’s the deep, intimate, and personal experience that we desired here.

I12know Christ! For a long time, I thought I knew Him. I was born and raised in a Christian family in Saigon, Vietnam. As a kid, I knew all the stories and doctrines about God, getting medals in those Bible Trivias and competitions. But those knowledge didn't help much. By my teen years, I was addicted to stealing and lusting, and even dabbling with the devil for guidance and protection. Not until when a friend helped me to accept the grace of God into my life back in 1980 that I would start knowing God by experience.

And there are more to know about Christ. I still remember the first time I discover Jesus as the one I have not known before. We were doing a Bible Study about a day in life of Jesus in Mark 1. Typical stuff. Jesus went to church and preached there. In the middle of the service, a person with demonic manifestation started disrupting. And Jesus went, “Shut up! Get out!” And the demon was cast out. After church, Jesus went to Peter's house for lunch. His mom was sick so Jesus took her by the hand and help her up; the fever was gone!

My bible study leader then asked a lame question, "What the differences between the two miracles?" "Well, it's obvious! The first He just said so, and the second one He touched", I replied. My leader followed, "What then is the significance of that difference?" Suddenly, I was blown away by the realization that Jesus, the Son of God, was also so human. He could have shout, "Arise, woman! Your fever had gone!" But no, He came near, stoop down to where she was, took her by the hand and helped her up; so respectfully, so caringly.

I12know Christ! The more I read the gospels, the more I discover, and the more I like what I saw. Jesus was an organized person, he was creative, and he even slept on a cushion! But just knowing the historical Christ is not enough, I want to know what Christ can do today!

I12know the power of His resurrection. I grew up witnessing the revival of God's signs and wonders among the persecuted churches in Vietnam and I want to continue experiencing the power of the Living God, who is still working in the midst of our congregation today.

I don’t want to know just a better way to live life, a new methodology to communicate to people, or even the principles of impacting the world. More than any of that, I want to experience the power of the resurrection, a divine power that cannot be explained, a vivid power that cannot be denied!

A couple of year ago we had a case of demon possession at our church. The senior pastor was away, and it was up to me and the youth pastor to handle the matter. We have no idea what to do. So I studied everything I had so far on that issue, consulted on the phone with a pastor in the next city. I called a fast-and-pray for all the people in the youth group. And as the whole room full of young people praying for us at church; I, the youth pastor, and a medical doctor from our church went out to visit the person. As we gathered around, laid hands and prayed, I spoke up according to Scripture, “What is your name?” And you know what, the demon inside the person answered back to me. Wow! This is unbelievable! This is power encounter! And by the power of God we cast out the demon that day. The person is still here with us today, growing and serving in our church.

And I have experience this supernatural power of His resurrection again and again in our church, where ex-criminals devoted their lives to live for God, where healings took place, and more importantly where many lives are still transforming from darkness into light.

That is the power that I am seeking after, the power that changes lives. But ultimately there is more in Christ than even this power.

I12know the fellowship of sharing in His suffering. This is hard. This is so hard for me. I am the type of person who will switch the TV channel when I see pain and suffering, regardless of orphanage or famine or violence or just imagery of kids with haunting hollowed eyes. Do I really want to know the fellowship of suffering for my life and for my ministry? God, this is hard! I constantly struggle with it. How could I desire such a thing? Although I cited this as my own life verse, the sober reality is that I often desired “the power of his resurrection” more than “the fellowship of his sufferings”.

There is the tendency in the comfortable modern church to shy away from the biblical teachings about suffering. We dread the subject and skirt around it whenever we can. Here, Paul embraced it fully, for he truly understood the glorious joy and hope of the Gospel. Perhaps, in order for us to embrace “the fellowship of his sufferings” like Paul did, we need to start where he started, in the desire to experience “the power of his resurrection” first. If we know the power of his resurrection, we would be able to have the fellowship in his suffering.

In your life and my life, eventually we will face our own suffering. And if we don’t know the fellowship in His suffering we will not be able to deal with our suffering.

But knowing all of the above is not enough. Notice the change as Paul went on “becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow to attain to the resurrection from the dead”. It’s no longer about the nouns of “the Christ”, of “the power”, of “the fellowship”; but the verbs of “becoming”, of “attaining”.

The whole thing of I12know must channel into actions. It is the actions of becoming like Jesus, days in days out; of laying my life down, days in days out; of dying to sin, days in days out. Life is a sequence of actions. And if my actions conforming to Him in death; then those actions will also be the same steps which lead to life in Him, and to the resurrection one day before God.

As we pursue the transforming movements of “knowing the power of the resurrection” and “knowing the fellowship of his suffering”, there will be the effects of “becoming like Him in his death” and finally “attaining resurrection from the dead” somehow. The whole thing is an amazing process from God in which we are immersed in.

It was a tall order to pursuit, to follow that passion after Christ. Paul felt the same way. In the verses followed, Paul wrote:

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phi.3:12ff)

Christ Jesus had already taken hold of our life; and I trust that He will continue His work so that we can respond to him, and press on! For I am confident, “that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phi.1:6)

As Christians, we all have a foretaste of what heaven would be like. But in the mean time, what would you take back from that heaven to live our lives here on earth?