Without Faith, Suffering won't turn to Hope

Before the Riverside retreat, this is how I often felt Two weeks ago, I went on a 4 days retreat with Muc Su Thach and a couple of friends to Riverside and refuged ourselves away from the storm rains. For a few days, we were immersed ourselves in the depth of the Word and enjoyed the 1st letter of Peter. It was wonderful to step a way from all the busyness, from the down pour rains, and to take it slow through the magnificent Word. And in that unhurried meditation, the Spirit of God started working on my soul, started removing the haunting nightmare burried deepdown in my human psyche. One of the major themes of 1st Peter is about suffering of the mundane life and the faith to sustain us through all of that. The last day of the retreat, I came across these words: "do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled" You see, I have always see myself as the captain of the walker-robot fleet in Matrix Reloaded. In desperation, he pulled everything he got in the last stance against the invincible sentinels approaching. In the same way, I often felt like fighting a suicidal battle to keep my faith and the next generation's faith suviving the onslaught of the secular world. Here Peter wrote, in the middle of the intense suffering and persecution of his day: "do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled" And Paul wrote about the hope that he had, on the same circumstance:

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. [Romans 5:1-5]

Back at the retreat, after meditating 1st Peter slowly; I started realizing that suffering happened to everyone. But when the people-of-faith went through suffering; it's the faith that would turn desperation into hope. It is the faith in God that help them to endure what they've been through. It is the faith that effected their attitude during endurance and produce character. And once chracters were forged in faith, hope will emerged. I also daydreamed when I was listening to the rain and was meditating on the Word that weekend. (Or perhaps I should spiritualize it and said that, "I had a vision"). In my dream, I saw another desperation. This time from Simba, who was cornered by his enemies. In desperation, he pulled everything he got in the last stance against the invincible hyhenas approaching. He tried his hardest to roar. Surprisingly the roar was powerful and sending shock and awe through his enemies. And as the camera zoomed out, you can see the source of victory, the Lion King was standing right behind his son. Desperation in itself wasn't bad. People like me got desperate because we thought it's up to us to fight the battle. And it is true. Jesus intentionally left so that it is up to us to complete His work. But when everything is said and done, there is absolutely nothing can be invincible besides the Invincible One. And the faith in Him will be what turn desperation into hope. After that retreat, this is how I have been feeling

Harden Hearts Could Produce Heartfelt Worship Too...

O come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and the dry land, which his hands have formed. O come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. O that today you would listen to his voice! Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah, as on the day at Massah in the wilderness, when your ancestors tested me, and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work. For forty years I loathed that generation and said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray, and they do not regard my ways." Therefore in my anger I swore, "They shall not enter my rest." (Psalm 95:1-11)

Interesting contrast here: in the first part, the Psalmist put forth a call to worship (from v.1-7, the green part) but then in the 2nd part (v.8-11 in brown) the voices changed, and you have the voice of God, who gave a stern warning to the worshipers not to harden their hearts. Implication: people could worship with great fervent and sincerety, yet their hearts are still harden. So, even if we sing your hearts out at a worship service, don't be surprised when God shook His head and wouldn't take any of it...

In my reading last night, E.H.P touched my soul when he shared...

How can I keep from settling into the salary and benefits of a checkout clerk in a store for religious consumers? How can I avoid a metamorphosis from the holy vocation of pastor into a promising career in religious sales? ... I want to speak the Word of God that is Scripture in the language and rhythms of the people I live with. I am given an honored and protected time each week to do that. The pulpit is a great gift, and I want to use it well.

I have no interest in "delivering sermons," challenging people to face the needs of the day or giving bright, inspirational messages. With the help provided by scholars and editors, I can prepare a fairly respectable sermon of either sort in a few hours each week, a sermon that will pass muster with most congregations. They might not think it the greatest sermon, but they would accept it.

But what I want to do can’t be done that way. I need a drenching in Scripture; I require an immersion in biblical studies. I need reflective hours over the pages of Scripture as well as personal struggles with the meaning of Scripture. That takes far more time than it takes to prepare a sermon.

I want the people who come to worship in my congregation each Sunday to hear the Word of God preached in such a way that they hear its distinctive note of authority as God’s Word, and to know that their own lives are being addressed on their home territory. A sound outline and snappy illustrations don’t make that happen...

There you have it, the cry for the harden hearts behind all the production of worship services. We need to enter God's rest and allow Him to soften our hearts.

O Lord, save me from hiding my harden heart behind the veneer of worship and service.

The four Selah of recovery from sin

1 Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. 2 Happy are those to whom the LORD imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 3 While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah 5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah 6 Therefore let all who are faithful offer prayer to you; at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them. 7 You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance. Selah 8 I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. 9 Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you. 10 Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the LORD. 11 Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. Psalm 32:1-11

O God, have mercy on me, a sinner

I've never notice the Selahs in this Psalm before. I think it outlines the stages of recovery well: 1) First it indicates the natural provision for sins, the consequence of coming to God or to hold back from him. 2) Then the Psalmist moved to a definite action of confessing his sins to God and receiving forgiveness from him. 3) Then there are a refuge period when he was still coping with his trouble. 4) And finally the praise and the renewal to God. And so there is a transitional stage 3 which may linger through before our faith are fully establish. I hope that I am there in that stage. I can only hope, because I am not so certain of where I am in this anymore...

O God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

What do you see?

Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. Then Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I will make three dwellings here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud a voice said, "This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!" When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Get up and do not be afraid." And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone. [Mat.17:1-8]

Here's my allegorical take on this passage central around the question of "What do you see?" First the disciples saw that they were by themselves with Jesus ascending the mountain. They could see themselves as beyond the pack of other disciples. When I compare myself with others, I could see myself as far ahead of them. Then the disciples saw Jesus transfigured; and I saw Jesus differently, no longer the same familiar figure I was raised to know. Third the disciples see Moses and Elijah, the living figures from the Law and Prophets; and I was mesmerized by the Word of God came a life to me. But then God came down in a cloud and affirming Jesus, the disciples were struck with fear. At this point in my life I have yet experience a powerful fear-struck encounter with God yet. But I know what would be next; Jesus will come and sustain me. "And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone."

Oh Lord God, give me a pure heart so I can see God.

Entering Lent

Today is the start of Lent, a 40 day period of spiritual focus that is leading up to Easter. First, some background...

The season of Lent foretold the celebration of Holy Week [for the people of God]. Holy Week consisted of the seven days leading up to Easter Sunday, beginning with Palm Sunday, passing through Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. The forty days leading up to Easter Sunday constituted Lent. In the earliest days of Christianity (we’re talking the first three hundred or so years), Lent was a time of preparation for unbaptized converts, to Christianity. During Lent, the elders of the local church instructed [them] in the basics of the Apostolic Faith. On Easter Sunday, [they] would be baptized as the sun rose in the morning. As they were baptized, they would face eastwards and renounce the darkness. Too bad we don’t do things like that anymore. Lent is commonly associated with fasting and repentance. Fasting over a period of forty days is something that occurs with great regularity in Scripture. Moses did it when he ascended Mount Sinai to receive the Law. Jesus did it as well. Fasting is a much-neglected spiritual discipline in our modern world of fast food and instant gratification, and we would do well to start practicing it once again. Of course, fasting is very tightly bound to repentance. The focus of Lent is repentance. Again, many of us are confused about repentance. Some of us think of it as “penance,” that is, atoning for our sins with acts of contrition. But that is not repentance. We can’t atone for what we have done and need not try. Jesus’ work on the cross is our atonement. Some of us think of repentance as sorrow and shame for what we have done, but that is also inaccurate. Repentance is literally to “change your mind.” In the famous words of Dallas Willard, “To reconsider your strategy for living based on the news of God’s Kingdom that is available in Jesus.” And that is what Lent is for, to reconsider your strategy for living. To begin a new process of deep consideration and reflection about your life. To reconsider what it means to follow Jesus, to plumb the mystery of Good Friday and Easter Sunday. To reconsider what your strategy for living should be, based on this good news. And it all begins with this: Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return. You are not an angel. You are not a mere soul or disembodied spirit. You are human, you are mortal, you are deeply dependent on the God who formed your body from the humus of the earth and breathed life into you with his kiss. God has come to you, in Jesus, O Creature, and called you to have life eternal with him [1][2].

For Lent, I decided to forego all the slide backgrounds for our worship PowerPoint slides for the next 7 weeks, sort of a corporate fast. Personally, I am going join my boss at work this year (he’s a devout Catholics) in giving up coffee and to reflect on my strategy for living instead. Let’s see how it is... [1][2] From my prof. http://bolsinger.blogs.com/weblog/2005/02/dirty_foreheads_1.html and his friend http://dulciusexasperis.com/2005/02/02/forget-40-days-of-purpose-try-lent-instead

Presence of the Word, not Rules of the Word

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread." But he answered, "It is written, 'One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, 'He will command his angels concerning you,' and 'On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.'" Jesus said to him, "Again it is written, 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor; and he said to him, "All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me." Jesus said to him, "Away with you, Satan! for it is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.'" [Mat.4:1-11]

Our Christian lives are full of temptations; because now we can discern according to God's standard. "Temptation is often in the guise of something good not bad, and what is good is often in the form of what might appear dull, boring or even bad itself."[1] The question for me is how would you be able to discern that they are indeed temptations, and not something we should do? In many instances, the temptations had even biblical supports as well. The model Jesus presented here is for us to be grounded in the Word of God; so any tendencies which lead away from the path of God should be considered as advances from the tempter. But there is a deeper truth beyond the seemingly simple principle above. Being grounded in the Word of God is more than just knowing what the commandment is all about. From the story of the first temptation of Eve [Gen. 3:1-7], let's not forget that Eve was able to recite what God had commanded in regard to the forbidden tree. Here we see that, "relationships are not governed by rules but by presence"[2]. It's the Presence that made sense of the rules.

One thing I still need to work on is my abiding in the Word. As simplistic as it sounds, Jesus simply pointed to the Word of God as the only weapon used to fight against temptations. Oh Lord, teach me how to cope with temptations just like You did.

[1] http://tabletalk.typepad.com/tabletalk/2005/01/mystery.html [2] http://tabletalk.typepad.com/tabletalk/2005/01/making_room_for.html

Giants

According to one of my accountability partners, a Physic professor once said this:

There are people who have their heads in the cloud, and have amazing foresight, but they can't get anywhere in real life, because their feet are not firmly planted on the ground.

And then there are others, whose feet are on the ground, very practical in real life but cannot get anywhere far either for the lack of foresight...

But then there are a few, whose feet are in the ground, but their head are in the cloud!

We call them giants, people who impact the world...

Don't forget that in growth, God is often stretching us in both directions.

Don't forget that in stretching, it's done slowly over time, sometimes painful a bit too.

[Three days later...]

I am still thinking about the post above...

The question is, "Where do you start? With the head first or with the feet first?" And as I pondering the question, I ran into Paul, and this is what he said, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." [Rom.12:3] And so I think the more natural way would be start with the feet and grow from there...