Soul Cry

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul, and have sorrow in my heart all day long? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God! Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
and my enemy will say, "I have prevailed"; my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.
But I trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.
(Psalm 13)

This is the cry of my heart... not to just follow God, but to be held by God.

Sometimes I feel so defeated, and so desperated. Sometimes it is dishearten with all the stuff I see (and with the thought that I haven't seen nothing yet).

"Consider and answer me, O Lord my God." Here we pray, even in pain and despair, in expectation that God will intervene, that the supernatural will intersect the natural. There's always a danger of seperating the two, to live and think that God is not interested in this mundance lives of ours, and to escape in the the eternal perspective of fate.

But I trusted in your hesed. I trusted that your love is constant and faithful, in that my heart can rejoice, admidst the enduring trial.